Episode: Smallville 9.08 – “Idol”
Original Air Date: November 13, 2009
Screencaps by Home of the Nutty.
Lois and Clark are at the Planet, where Lois daydreams about a shirtless Clark under a red sun. The mail clerk arrives to tell Lois she has a special delivery in the basement. It turns out to be a giant crate full of people covered in cocaine. The Blur has caught a bunch of drug dealers. But he made a mistake. These are undercover cops, and he botched their operations.
Clark tries to convince Lois that it couldn’t have been the Blur, but she isn’t believing it. Besides, she has an appointment with a shrink. Being Lois, she doesn’t want to admit she’s seeing a shrink. She claims it’s a secret interview on some random story she’s doing. But she is, in fact, seeing a shrink.
She’s worried about all these hot dreams and obsessive flashbacks involving Clark with his shirt off, complete with sexy soldiers killing off the show’s main characters under a red sun.
Back at the Watchtower, Chloe realizes the Blur impersonators aren’t trying to discredit Clark. They are trying to assist him. They just aren’t very good at it. They’ve even set up a Blur blog and Twitter account to document their exploits.
At this point, if you watched the early ’80s SuperFriends cartoon, you might be thinking to yourself: “Hmmm. Sean is referring to them as “them.” They try to help Superman, but they continually mess things up. Could it be… no, the producers of Smallville wouldn’t dare.”
But they did dare. Our Blur imitators are none other than the Wonder Twins. I personally would not have had the guts to drag the Wonder Twins onto this show. But that’s why I write about shows instead of actually writing shows.* So, props to the producers for having the courage to even consider an episode featuring the characters that originally were a pair of goofballs.
My guess is that, in the next scene, half the audience’s hearts sank, and the other half’s hearts got all light and smiley (at least half of those who used to watch the SuperFriends cartoon). We see a man in the back of a limo counting diamonds (Smallville plot technique #347 for telling the audience that a character is a criminal: put him in the back of a limo in a dark alley).
A panther jumps onto the hood of the limo. The limo driver accelerates to shake it off, when a giant patch of ice suddenly appears under the tires. The limo careens off the road, into a power station (or perhaps a substation), knocking the criminals unconscious.
The ice and panther revert to their human forms revealing actors in their early 20s playing teenage characters. Of course, they’re totally hot (it is the CW, after all), and really fashionable, and way too eager and chipper to be regular characters.
They spray paint Clark’s shield onto the roof of the car, in order to make it look like the Blur saved the day. Unfortunately, the limo hit the power station (or maybe it’s a transformer) too hard. The structure comes tumbling down, and the entire city loses electricity.
The twins scatter, but not before dropping their cell phone. Unfortunately for Clark, rather than blame the civil planners for using a power grid that can be taken out by a single limo, the public will blame the Blur.
The next day, Clark and Lois investigate what happened. Clark spots the lost cell phone. We also learn that the District Attorney — who it turns out was the bad man in the limo — is out to get the Blur, who he considers a vigilante menace.
Back at the Twins’ secret apartment, Clark uses the lost phone to track down the dubious duo. Just as they are about to touch fists and activate their powers, Clark super speeds into the room, shoving his hand between their activated fists. The feedback knocks the twins unconscious.
They wake up in the Watchtower. Chloe points out to the twins that they are royally messing up the Blur’s reputation. It’s not that she’s telling them to stop being heroes. She’s telling them to get their heads out of their asses. They have to lie low in the Watchtower while the Blur fixes things.
Back at the Daily Planet, Clark calls Lois, with his voice disguised as the Blur. Unfortunately, the twins are totally into Chloe’s super computers and accidentally deactivate the voice modulator Clark uses on his cell phone to disguise his voice (so much for not messing things up any more). As a result, Lois figures out who the Blur is.
She rushes to the Kent farm to try to trick Clark into revealing that he’s the Blur. Just as she’s about to tell him that, not only does she know who he is, but she’s cool with his powers and is even a bit turned on, the District Attorney appears on television. He is demanding that the Blur reveal himself.
Clark rushes away to figure out what to do. Lois rushes to her shrink to reveal that Clark is the Blur.
Over at the District Attorney’s press conference, Clark is getting up the nerve to reveal his identity. As Chloe tries to talk him out of it, a clandestine ladybug listens in on the conversation. Clark ignores Chloe’s advice. He’s ready to come forward, but before he can do anything, Lois arrives, forcing herself in front of the cameras.
She explains that she has spoken to the Blur, and has peered into his heart, and the Blur is just what Metropolis needs at this point. They need a hero and a symbol. Her speech mollifies the public, but unfortunately in the process she implied to the public (and to the District Attorney) that she knows who the Blur is.
The DA subsequently tricks Lois to the rooftop of the Daily Planet, where he has painted a giant Superman shield. In true organized criminal form, he throws Lois off the roof in an effort to make it look like the Blur killed her to keep his identity a secret. Fortunately, also in true organized criminal form, he doesn’t check to make sure he did the job right. Lois grabs onto a flagpole, hanging on for dear life.
We finally have a scene where we are actually concerned when Lois gets in trouble at the end. If you are going to make Lois the default damsel in distress, you have to be dramatic about it to keep it fresh. There’s a reason an entire genre of movies is called “cliff hanger,” and hanging from a cliff (or the top of a tall building) is dramatic. And it’s just before the commercial. Good job.
Anyway, the ladybug has witnessed the whole thing. She rushes back to the Watchtower to recruit her brother. After some hesitation, they decide that, if there is a time to use their powers in a way that doesn’t annoy the audience, then this is it.
A crowd has gathered outside the Planet, watching Lois as she dangles from the flagpole. I have to admit I got a little excited at this point. Remember in the 1980s Superman movie when Superman first reveals himself to the public? Lois is falling from the top of a tall building, Clark Kent turns into Superman, and catches her in mid air.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you,” says Superman.
“You’ve got me? Who’s got you?” replies Lois.
Part of me was hoping I would witness a remake of that scene. Maybe the emotional trauma of seeing Lois in danger forces Clark to reach deep down and figure out how to fly. But the other part of me remembered the mantra of the show: no flights, no tights. If Clark flies, or if he dons the suit, the series is over. If I were a few decades younger (or if my wife weren’t in the room), I probably would have been jumping up and down, cheering at the television.
Kudos to the director. It was a brilliantly filmed scene. It was almost enough to make me forget that the twins needed to redeem themselves. Almost…
Clark rushes to the rooftop, and tries to reach down to pull Lois up without revealing his powers. But he can’t reach her. As Lois gives Clark a speech about keeping his identity secret, a mysterious fog appears around the Daily Planet.
Lois let’s go of the flagpole, disappearing into the fog. Clark speeds away, presumably to rush to the ground and catch her, identity be damned. But the fog slows Lois’s fall and she lands, light as a feather, no harm done. Lois realizes that Clark couldn’t be the Blur.
Meanwhile, the District Attorney gets in the back of his limo (he must have forced his mechanic to work 24 hours without a break, because he’s a really bad man). But inside the limo, a Rottweiler awaits. This dirty DA is not going anywhere.
The twins head back to their apartment to celebrate. Clark shows up to thank them and encourage them to be the heroes he knows they can be. He also tells them to stop screwing up everything.
When he heads back to the Daily Planet, Lois plants a giant tongue-locking kiss on him. But it turns out you shouldn’t kiss a Kryptonian when you have a head full of repressed memories of the future. The kiss puts her into a coma.
Rating: 3.5 / 5 Stars
* Actually, I have written a bunch of stuff. The reason none of it has been produced is that I don’t have an agent. Hint hint. Wink wink…
