Fandom Deathmatch #7: Bucky Katt (Get Fuzzy) vs. Garfield (Garfield)

It’s time for the fur to fly! In this battle, we shall pit the age old tabby, Garfield, against the razzled, anti-social seal point Bucky Katt! Which will be able to say he rules the cat box? Read and see for yourself!

Contestant #1: Bucky Katt (Get Fuzzy)

Attributes: Bucky Katt is what you genuinely call a ‘bad’ cat. He’s self absorbed, mean, delusional, manipulative, and just flat-out cruel. He lives with a twenty-something male owner (who reminds many of the typical ‘geek/gamer’ type), and Satchel, the sweet hearted mutt. Bucky is not necessarily intelligent, but rather thrifty and creative in his actions. His heartlessness at times can also surprise even the coldest of others. His weaknesses are money and power.

Contestant #2: Garfield (Garfield)

Attributes: Garfield runs the home of his owner (Jon), which he also shares with Odie (an unknown breed of dog). While he has good camaraderie with both, it is obvious that Garfield uses his enhanced intelligence to push his authority over the others, be it at dinner time, breakfast, or against annoying spiders. His weaknesses are coffee and lasagna.

The Battle

It’s interesting to point out the potential breeds of both Bucky and Garfield. It’s easy to assume Garfield is an orange tabby cat, a variety of cats who are, in essence, “mutt” cats — combined breeds, with no specification to any one type. These cats tend to have longer life spans and better immune systems. They also have better personalities (to a degree). It is not known specifically what breed Bucky is, except that he is an obvious seal point (i.e., black face, paws, and tail). Due to his attitude and territorial ways, one could easily assume he has some Siamese in his blood line, if not actually Siamese. These cats are notorious for being ‘difficult’ to deal with, as well as resourceful.

It’s already been said, but I’ll say it again: Bucky. Is. Mean. He has no issues attacking Satchel or his owners (especially after they ‘cat noogie’ him). If he has to sacrifice them to get him out of a gambling debt, he will. When it comes to winning, or even just surviving, Bucky is relentless. Garfield has, at times, used his intelligence for selfish means, but he’s by far less heartless than Bucky. Sure, he’ll put a wrench into his owner’s non-existent social life, or torture Odie just because he can… but on the grand scale, he’s just like a brother who annoys his siblings every now and then. As much as Garfield is harassed by birds, mice, and annoying “cute” kittens, he never has cat hit men coming to his door for his execution.

Any fight between Bucky and Garfield would likely remain verbal banter, for two reasons. The first: due to Garfield’s incredible size, Bucky would think twice about any attempt to physically attack him. One can think of Garfield as the cat equivalent of Blob from X-Men. One turn and his fluffy tummy could practically take out all of Tokyo, much like Godzilla’s tail. Bucky isn’t stupid, and would always want to keep the upper paw. While Garfield is good at conversation, Bucky is a master… at least in his own mind. The end result would be Bucky babbling on while Garfield sleeps through it.

It begs the question just how both of these cats, who would be practically matched in intelligence, resourcefulness, and determination, would be able to fight at all. Their only downside is both cats are entirely housebroken without any ‘alley cat’ knowledge (unlike other orange tabby cartoon cats, who Robot Chicken determined to be below Garfield), and that slows the battle down considerably. Both have their claws, both know how to use them, but fighting skills are not something they’re likely to have mastered.

If either has to call in for backup, the ball falls to Garfield. Sure, neither their owners, or likely their canine roommates, would help (I would imagine Satchel and Odie hanging out from the sidelines, both comforting in the fact they live with dominating felines), but Garfield has more friends than Bucky. It’s questionable whether Bucky has any friends at all, given his anti-social ways. Though the neighborhood pets aren’t 100% buddy-buddy with Garfield, they would likely want the lesser of two evils to win in a fight. That lesser evil would be Garfield, no question.

The Winner

So, after a long, tedious catfight, the winner is…

Garfield!