“If a zombie bites you, it’s bad. If you bite a zombie, it’s crazy delicious!” So sayeth one Dr. Amad Cyontist, presumed spokescientist for Harcos Laboratories, the previous purveyors of the vampiric Blood Energy Potion and current brains behind the Zombie Blood Energy Potion. We received a mysterious package in the mail from Harcos recently, and I’m here to report on my successful sampling of the blood packets contained therein.
Zombie Blood comes in 100 mL pouches not dissimilar to actual blood packs. There’s even a little valve at the bottom from which you can drink (or hook it up to an IV, I guess, which neither I nor Harcos Labs would recommend). Unlike standard blood, this stuff is bright green and a little cloudy, and it comes stamped with a Level 5 Delicious Taste biohazard warning on it, although selling point #7 on the bag is “Not an actual biohazard.” Don’t let the bloody fingerprints on the baggie fool you… this stuff is actually pretty tasty!
The “blood” has a mild lime flavor, and you can drink it refrigerated or at room temperature, which is the company’s recommended way to consume it. I suppose that’s the accurate temperature it would be if you were drinking it straight from the uncirculated zombified source, so chalk one up for authenticity. I’m a soft drink junkie who is hopelessly addicted to Dr. Pepper, but I’ve actually never had an “energy drink” like Red Bull or anything of that sort. Since Zombie Blood is marketed as an energy drink, I didn’t know whether I should prepare myself for liftoff after drinking it, but I didn’t really feel any effects from it. That could just be due to my body having rendered caffeine and whatever other energy-giving stuff I imbibe useless to me after a lifetime of building up a frighteningly effective tolerance, though.
Probably my favorite thing about the Zombie Blood is all the theming and marketing that goes along with it. Harcos has built a great website around the product, complete with a link to the Zombie Protection Agency’s website, an FAQ about the ethical treatment of zombies, and all sorts of other crazy and fun tidbits. If you’re throwing a zombie movie party, a Halloween event, or any sort of themed gathering, I’d think having some bags of Zombie Blood hanging around would be a no-brainer (rimshot, please). Check it out and see what you think!
Note: I am not responsible if drinking this stuff actually zombifies you and / or makes you like turtles.
