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Have You Ever Bought a Car From Morgan Freeman?

July 24, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Maggie Van Ostrand
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Have you ever wondered whose voice that was behind different car and car product commercials? A voice so familiar you just knew you knew who it was, it’s right on the tip of your tongue, yet you end up saying, “Oh well, it’ll come to me later.” It’s even worse when the voice has a certain ominous charm, like Michael (Gordon Gekko) Douglas’s voice over for Exxon, or Leonardo (Howard Hughes) Di Caprio’s for Mercedes.

Speaking of charm, how about Jon (Don Draper) Hamm also for Mercedes, or Patrick (Dr. Derek Shepherd) Dempsey for Mazda? They must sell a lot of Subaru Legacys with Robert (Don Corleone) DeNiro, if they know what’s good for them. We have Jack Bauer’s father, Donald Sutherland, speaking out for the merits of a Volvo, Kevin (Bobby Darin) Spacey for Honda and, if driving’s too slow for you, that’s also his voice for American Airlines. We have Kelsey (Frasier) Grammer for both Lexus and Hyundai (no conflict of interest there), and serial killer Dexter/Michael C. Hall for Dodge Charger. Of course, the threat of getting offed by Dexter might be offset somewhat by Queen Latifah speaking out for the same car.

They must have sold a lot of Hyundais because they also brought out The Big Lebowski himself (Jeff Bridges). I almost turned in my own car for a Hyundai because I love The Dude so much.

In order to buy any car, you might need to use your Visa card (Morgan Freeman) or Bank of America card (Kiefer Sutherland) and if you use an iPad to access that account, you might also hear the dulcet tones of Kiefer speaking sexy for Apple.

If your new car needs insurance, you can buy Allstate from Dennis (President Palmer) Haysbert, or even from the same guy you bought your car from if you decided on a Mazda: Patrick (Derek Shepherd) Dempsey.

Of course, if you have an accident in your new car and the insurance pays for hospitals, better check out Kaiser Permanente, heartily recommended by Allison (CJ Cregg, The West Wing) Janney, because she’ll whup your ass if you don’t.

If all this activity has exhausted you, you can do as George Clooney suggests: sit down in front of the beer fridge and have a Bud.

Personally, although it’s way better than a voice over, I think the best TV commercial in the car field is Union Oil’s with young Marilyn Monroe and her car named Cynthia. Marilyn asks you to “put Royal Triton in Cynthia’s little tummy. Cynthia would just looove that Royal Triton.”

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About the Author
Maggie Van Ostrand is ashamed to not be a geek, but she’s proud to have once attended a Star Trek convention where Bill Shatner spoke to her. He said “Hi. Are you anybody?” Maggie graduated from college so long ago, she can’t remember the name of it but thinks it was somewhere in New York. She majored in stuff that has nothing to do with anything she does today, except the classes she audited at the AFI. She knows little or nothing about comic book characters unless they’re drawn by Robert Crumb. She knows nothing of gaming outside of Vegas, and still thinks Moonlight was way better than True Blood. She is here because she reminds the publisher of his grandmother and he felt sorry for her. Her favorites are anything by Billy Wilder, Godfather I and II, Lawrence of Arabia, & Young Frankenstein. She writes political satire for Huffington Post, was head writer for movie trivia TV show; writes a column about Old West characters; was TV comedy ghostwriter; humor columnist for newspapers and online publications, and other boring stuff. Twitter: @magpie99 Website: www.maggievanostrand.com
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