Review: True Blood 2.01 – “Nothing But the Blood”
Original Air Date: 14 June 2009
Rating: TV:MA
The second season of HBO’s sexed-up vampire hit has officially begun. I’m not a super huge fan of this show (haven’t read the books, either), but it has vamps and usually just enough cheddar-filled fun moments that keep me tuning in each week. Much like with the first season, I have a feeling this season is going to take me a number of eps to get into the “OMG, what’s gonna happen next?!” mindset. That’s probably because despite the show picking up right where it left off last summer, this opener felt slow and boring to me.
The Show starts with Sam hustling out of his bar (Merlotte’s) with a trash bag filled with greenbacks. Hearing Sookie and Tara screaming bloody murder, he throws the cash into his pick-up and runs to the other side of the parking lot. As we all know from the S1 finale, they really are screaming about a bloody murder! Someone has not only moved his car, but they left Policeman-Officer Andy a little surprise in the back seat. Sookie and Tara are freaking out (Tara apparently thinking what I was, that the body is her cousin Lafayette), Andy’s being a drunk jerkface of a cop (as usual), and Sam’s trying to console the girls (also as usual). Andy reveals that the dead body doesn’t have a heart anymore, but more importantly that it’s not Lafayette (he’s one of my favs). Bad news for Tara, though, as it turns out to be the fake Voodoo priestess that scammed her and her mother last season. Commence with the screaming again (I think they might do that more than the other thing they do a lot of on this show) and roll the opening credits.
In the middle of the chaos that is a crime scene in Bon Temps, Sookie’s having a hard time controlling her mind reading abilities. Because she can’t control who she’s hearing, she picks up on the fact that Tara knows who the dead woman is (something she’s not telling the cops). Sookie convinces Tara she needs to talk to the cops, and she and Sam go back to close up the bar. I’m left wondering how many murders can happen in a town the size of Bon Temps before a larger law enforcement agency comes swooping in.
After finishing up at Merlotte’s Sookie heads over to Bill’s (her vampire BF who was last seen in the light of day without turning into a piece of toast during the American Civil War). Surprise, Sookie! Bill’s got a little redheaded something he neglected to mention to you all those times you were laying in bed talking about the weather and such. Bill explains that turning Jessica into a vampire was his punishment for the vampire he killed to save Sookie’s life, that he had to replace that vampire by making another one. While Jessica has been a real Whiney McBitchface the entire time she’s been a vamp, it must have been hard to face the reason you were kidnapped and turned against your will. While she seems to be enjoying the freedom being a vampire can give her, I think this is going to cause some friction between her and Sookie while she’s under Bill’s care.
Meanwhile, Tara’s at the police station giving her statement on Dead Fake Voodoo Lady. The cops don’t believe her story about the scam exorcisms or the voodoo bus in the middle of the woods (because of that whole drunken wreck caused by a “crazy ass [other trucker] Paul Bunyan of a pig and naked lady” in the middle of the road incident). To make matters worse, Andy’s still drunk as a skunk and all up in her face accusing her of the murder. Then, worse gets cubed when her mom shows up. Adina Porter is amazing because she perfectly portrays Tara’s mother as an official wreck of a human being. This woman is a horrible person. The one solid she’s done Tara so far is confirming the exorcism story, and that was one of the most uncomfortable scenes I’ve ever watched that didn’t involve nakedness. Five-Oh let them go and they have a blow up (God, her mother makes me so angry). Maryann shows up and completely decimates Tara’s mom. Michelle Forbes lays those lines out so venomously, I actually felt sorry for the mom (but only for a minute).
We also find out that Lafayette is being held in a basement somewhere, chained up to the Medieval European version of The Wheel of Pain. At first, I was thinking it was Maryann that had him locked up (because that lady is one bad mamma jamma), but at this point he nor we have any idea what’s going on.
The next day finally comes, and we get a little more back story on how Sam knows Maryann. Turns out when he was a teen shapeshifter on the run, he had a run in with her (and by run in, I mean he tried to burgle her house and eat all her food in the nude). After she freaks him out sufficiently while they’re having the sexy time, he steals a bunch of money and jewelry from her. This is where my theory comes that she’s really Circe or some kind of Greek goddess. She definitely is MAJOR trouble for everyone in the town, but especially Tara and Sam. Apparently, Sam thinks Maryann is in town because she wants her money back. Later that night, she makes it clear that she’s not expecting money from him but something else.
We also find out that Jason (Sookie’s brother) is the dumbest character. Ever. Seriously, this guy is a cult’s dream date to prom, and the Fellowship of the Sun Church just got incredibly lucky. Sookie gives Jason the inheritance their Great Uncle left her (he was found dead in the river behind his house), and it’s more than enough money to pay for the leadership camp the Fellowship is having in Texas. Of course, he thinks this is a sign from God and is caught hook, line, and sinker before even getting into the church. I thought having to watch this idiot shag his way through the entire state of Louisiana was bad last season, but this story line trumps that so far.
That night, things are pretty much back to normal at Merlotte’s. Andy’s still drunkenly trying to solve the murder case, Arlene and Sookie are needing help waitressing (which brings new girl Daphne into the mix), and the locals are being gossipy as locals in a small town do (that leads to a great scene with Terry, the crazy war vet working as the chef now that Lafayette is missing). Things are relatively calm for what seems to me to be the world’s murder capitol. Sookie and Jason have a brother-sister moment that inspires her to go make up with Bill. She goes to ask Sam to let her off work early, all charming like, and he tells her (and this was great) that he’s sick of burning his ass on her back burner and that she can come in early the next day to make up hours.
After that, she heads over to kiss and make up with Bill. Apparently, him killing her Great Uncle for being highly inappropriate with her as a child really gets her “in the mood”. So they have a sex scene that ends really gross: Bill feeds on Sookie, then spits it back into her mouth. Gag-a-rific! Thankfully, the show doesn’t end on that note. Turns out that Lafayette and the others on The Wheel of Pain are being held by Eric under Fangtasia! Laughed so hard when Eric comes down to dish out a little vampire justice in a hairdressing smock and tinfoil between his highlights. Turns out the vampires are dealing out their own brand of justice for the murders of their own kind that happened last season. It ends with the redneck getting torn to pieces and his blood splattered all over Lafayette.
