Episode: True Blood 3.07 – “Hitting the Ground”
Original Air Date: August 1, 2010
Boy. This episode was pretty hilarious, but when it comes right down to it, I think there are too many plot threads going on at once, and the main one (Sookie/Bill) has no interest for me at all. There’s so much bouncing between storylines, I’m not entirely sure what I just saw by the end of the 40-minute hour (except for those death scenes). I think it’s safe to say that with this season, this show has gone into the realm of absurdist. Not that they were trying to be serious prior, it’s just that it feels like this is a parody of horror films at this point.
First, I need to apologize for the lateness of the reviews and thank Paige for covering the past two weeks for me. Had a lot of personal/family things to deal with the last couple of weeks, but hopefully it’s over now. Secondly, this opening sequence of events is the one reason this episode got bumped up to 4/5 instead of 3/5 for me. Lorena, you were one crazy broad and you went out like a water balloon. A very large, goopy, bloody water balloon. As much as you irritated me, I think I might actually miss your particular brand of crazy.
So, I know Sook’s all hysterical and whatnot, but screaming while trying to be stealthy isn’t really an effective combo. Also, she does this all the time and it’s just not really getting anywhere near endearing. Despite the urgency of the situation beyond Bill not being conscious, Alcide and Tara (who is juiced up on V in a seriously aggro manner) help her wrap Bill up in a tarp so they can take him with them. That’s when Deb shows back up, brandishing a pistol.
Perfect time to see what Sam’s up to, right? Dude, who the hell edited this episode? Sam’s looking for the dog fights that Pa makes Ma and Tommy fight in. I think he found it.
And right back to Sookie, Tara, Alcide, and Deb. Why this needed to be broken up, who knows, but we do find out that Deb is all up in Coot’s business because she’s baby crazy and Alcide didn’t want to bring another one of their kind into the world. Tara is seriously jacked up on that V because she takes Deb out, Alcide gets the gun, and when Coot shows up? Well, that’s the end of Coot. Deb warns Alcide that if he doesn’t kill her she’ll hunt him down. He believes her, but I guess he still loves her because he doesn’t kill her (I totally would have). Eventually, they speed off in the van, running over one werewolf as they go. Which brings up the question: I thought there was only one way to kill a werewolf? I’m not sure if I like that the TB-verse weres are such, you know, sissies.
Jason. So adorable in that dumb way. I love that he equates being depressed with being smart. Anyhow, Hoyt snaps him out of his mopey, “I’m in love with someone I don’t know anything about” repose and reminds him that the drug dealer he caught was probably still locked up and that he probably knows something about Crystal. Hoyt is an excellent illustration of how we can see things clearly when it’s someone else’s love life. Because thanks to him trying to get over Jessica by making her jealous, I now have to deal with a character that makes the muscles in my ass twitch and also shares my first name.
Back to Sam. Still looking for dog fights. He decides what better way to get into dog fights than to be a dog? What he thinks he’ll be able to accomplish as either a Pit Bull or a naked dude once he gets into the fights is up for debate.
Seriously, Hoyt. You just traded one mama for another with this one. I hope this character disappears. Fast. I do like a good biscuit, though. But I don’t like people who are all up in your grill and wanting to change your life (and house) after one date.
I’m wondering what angle Eric is working here with Russell and how he plans on getting his revenge for his father after he gets Russell to save Pam from the Magister. While I was doing that, he was busy getting information out of Hadley since Sophie-Ann wasn’t going to spill it. Of course, Hadley tells Eric what’s so special about Sookie by whispering in his ear so we can’t hear it, and is genuinely surprised with what he finds out. Guess that means it wasn’t revealed Sookie is THE Mary Sue of ALL Mary Sues.
Sam finds the dog fighters. I think you could have just skipped the editing on this plot and had it all play out in a matter of five minutes all together. On a side note, I have a real problem with people who think animal fighting is okay, so this whole story was just drawn out for no good reason as far as I’m concerned.
Sookie, you really are the Geico Pothole. On a side note, I kinda want Tara and Alcide to get together now. I don’t know why, but I’m liking these two in scenes together.
Jason goes to try and get info on Crystal and it’s like watching… well, two idiots try and out-think each other. The drug guy tells Jason if he scores him some meth, he’ll tell Jason the sky’s red if he wants. Andy continues to entertain me, especially when he walks one way off screen then doubles back the other way. I don’t know why, but that little bit of character just made me laugh.
Alcide has to pull over so he can mark his territory, and this is when Tara finds out Bill has damn near killed Sookie. She totally goes nuts and kicks Bill out of the back of the van and into the sunlight (which, surprisingly and interestingly, has a delayed effect on him). This entire episode has pretty much redeemed Tara as a character worth watching for me. I mean, I really, really enjoyed watching her flip her crap and be all GTFO as she was kicking Bill.
Sam. Still infiltrating the dog fight. I’m pretty sure it took less time for Frodo and Samwise to get to Mordor and back and for Tolkien to write all three books.
Well, Sookie’s Mary Sue Specialness just hit an all-time high with this scene. She has “special” blood that doesn’t have a blood type. Oh, lordy. I don’t know if I can take much more of this.
Sam breaks up the dog fight by sounding the “Quick, the po-po are here” alarm, and then does the dumbest thing ever and lets all these dogs that have been brutalized and starved and trained to kill out of their freaking cages to run free. Seriously. He does corner Ma and Pa as Tommy lies covered in blood and starts acting all Alpha Male on everyone. Second dumbest thing ever was demanding that Pa give Tommy his clothing. I could have gone without seeing those saggy underpants again.
Jason needs meth in exchange for information. Of course he goes to Lafayette (and what in the HELL was he wearing — holy hell). This is when Tara calls Jason to let him know about Sookie being in a coma. He and Lafayette bolt out of Merlotte’s and, I assume, leave Arlene there to manage everything on her own. How does that place stay in business?
Y’all like that screencap? If I have to suffer, everyone has to suffer. In the almost end of Sam’s role in this episode, he gets Tommy to leave Ma and Pa and come live with him. I have to say, as drawn out as this ended up being, it was very satisfying to see Sam just unload on his bio-parents. I almost felt bad for Ma, but I don’t think we’ve seen the last of them.
I still can’t believe how much I’ve grown to love Jason. S1, I couldn’t stand him. This scene? He just breaks my heart. I also love that Lafayette has to tell him and Tara to stop cussing at Sookie while she’s in a coma. What I didn’t get, and maybe it just isn’t translating well onto film for me and would work better if I read the books is whatever it is that happens next in Sookie’s head (presumably).
So. Sookie is a faerie or a wood nymph or something. The character Claudine shows up, and it’s all pretty much like that one scene in Fantasia with the sighing and the dancing and the glowy water and the outfits made of tulle. Remember how I said I didn’t have a clue what was going on when Tara and Franklin were making it? Yeah, I have even less of a clue as to what was supposed to be going on here.
Back in reality, it’s looking pretty grim. Things get even more sour when Bill shows up. Tara’s expression was priceless. He wants to give Sookie his blood to heal her, Tara is having none of that and is totally looking for long piece of pointy wood, and Jason just wants his sister not to die. Lafayette is watching the drama unfold. Jason lets Bill pump his blood into Sookie, much to Tara’s disgust. Also, I think the nurses in this hospital are busy talking about the Lost series finale instead of, oh, I don’t know, doing their jobs and keeping an eye on the patients. What the hell, American Health Care System?
Back in Lothlórien, everyone is freaking out about how the “darkness is approaching” (in regards to Bill showing up in Sookie’s hospital room). They all hightail it into the pond that isn’t a pond but an ocean, and Claudine tries to get Sookie to go with them. She doesn’t. Claudine warns her that Bill will take her “light” and makes her promise that she won’t let him do that. This was just a whole lot of “Huh-WHA?” right here.
Right before the end, where we get a load of talk about “The Authority” that, again, no clue what that’s about, there’s a little moment of Tommy staring at Sam and Sam glancing at Tommy whilst they drive through the night. Again, weird editing and putting stuff in places that they didn’t really fit or could have just not been in the episode at all.
Pam proves in the last eight minutes what a BAMF is all about. She’s my hero. Eric shows up just before the Magister jabs some silver earrings through her eyelids. He brings Sophie-Ann and Russell with him. The truth about the V selling comes out, and when the Magister tries to arrest Sophie-Ann, Russell tells him (in a much more wordy manner) that The Authority is the past and he’s shaping the future. I have to admit that I’m seriously liking how Russell is turning out here. He forces the Magister to marry him and Sophie-Ann. I’m not sure what’s so important with the joining of these two because Vampire Politics are not explained AT ALL in this show. I mean, it’s a theme for this ep that I have no idea what’s going on or what anything means or why it’s a big deal.
Quickly back over to Sookie, and it looks like Bill’s blood brought her back. Too bad as soon as she sees Bill, she does what she does best (and it’s not like being Wolverine).
In the end, Russell forces the Magister to marry him and Sophie-Ann. He also reveals that his plan is to basically take over the world (he’s Brain and Talbot’s Pinkie… this is starting to make more sense…). Oh, and he kills the Magister before everyone moves on to the next step in making humans Happy Meals on legs. His head lands like a water balloon. A very large, goopy, bloody water balloon.
Rating: 4 / 5 Stars
