In honor of the upcoming Iron Man film and the facial hair Robert Downey, Jr, is sporting for it, here’s a top ten list of fictional heroes with mustaches.
10. Robin Hood (The Adventures of Robin Hood)
How could I have a list about heroes with facial hair and not include Errol Flynn? He’s the prototypical mustachioed good guy and still the quintessential Robin Hood.
9. Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski (The Big Lebowski)
The Dude is a slacker hero whose mostly mellow lifestyle of bowling and unemployment leave him too damn lazy to shave.
8. Admiral William Adama (Battlestar Galactica)
Sometimes you have to roll the hard six, and it’s times like that that you need Adama on your side. Granted, he only had the mustache in flashbacks and just after the weird one-year jump, but you can’t deny that he is a frakkin mustache hero.
7. Jayne Cobb (Firefly and Serenity)
He robbed from the rich, and he gave to the poor. Stood up to the man and gave him what for. Our love for him now ain’t hard to explain. The hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne.
6. Aragorn (The Lord of the Rings)
The Ranger known as Strider helped a fuzzy-footed Hobbit on his quest to save the world from a dark lord with a bling fetish. Along the way he was fawned after by damsels, had an Elf give him a cool sword, and ended up being a king. How much better could it get?
5. Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Cap’n Jack is a swarthy fellow, but don’t let his swaggering fool you. He’s actually quite capable when it comes to pirating, where it seems that the drunker you are, the better you do.
4. Sheriff Seth Bullock (Deadwood)
Technically Seth Bullock isn’t a fictional hero, but his portrayal in Deadwood mixes enough fiction with the facts to make him okay for this list. Bullock is a hard-nosed lawman with a soft heart for wealthy widows.
3. Cordell Walker (Walker, Texas Ranger)
Come on, it’s Chuck Norris. Nuff said.
2. Lando Calrissian (Star Wars)
This Corellian space pirate might have gotten a rotten deal from Vader and lost his spaceship in a card game, but he’s the slickest Rebel in the Alliance. Able to work his way into and out of nearly any deal, not to mention piloting the Millennium Falcon in the run that destroyed the second Death Star, lands him on this list.
1. Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV (Magnum, P.I.)
Take one Hawaiian shirt, add a Ferrari, throw on a mustache, and what do you get? The eighties, my friend. Magnum was a private eye, a Navy SEAL, and a Vietnam vet. The man whose mustache defined an era had to be at the top of this list. There’s a reason Tom Selleck doesn’t shave today.