TV Review: True Blood 2.12 – “Beyond Here Lies Nothin’”
Review: True Blood 2.12 – “Beyond Here Lies Nothin’”
Original Air Date: September 13, 2009
Rating: NR/AO (Not Rated/Adults Only)
Screencaps were done by Marishna on LiveJournal this week.
Well. This was one of the biggest television finale disappointments I think I’ve ever had. They had me all excited about this season (I pre-ordered the frakking Orange Crush they put in fancy glass “Tru Blood” bottles, for Christ’s sake), and this is how it ended? The biggest rush job in the history of rush jobs? Almost nothing that went down in this finale made me want to come back for season 3. Not even the promise of more screen time for that mountain of Nordic manflesh. It was that damn disappointing, and it left me with the same bad aftertaste the drink did.
This isn’t going to be scene-by-scene like I normally do because I honestly couldn’t stand to watch this episode twice.
I couldn’t follow what the hell was going on during this entire “Let me explain to you why I’m doing what I’m doing” bridal party. Not a damn bit of it made a lick of sense to me. If you needed a virgin supernatural, Maryann, why did you deflower him instead of getting him ready for sacrifice? The explanation of why Sam was the “chosen” one didn’t make any sense, how he was being used as a “vessel” for the god (who was also supposed to be Maryann’s husband)? This was the worst attempt at tying up a long in the tooth storyline. I got the feeling, by the end of it, that they didn’t have this ending planned out from the start. This HAD to be last minute.
Because in a “careful what you wish for” manner, Maryann wasn’t destroyed by destroying the statue. Oh, no, my friends! Instead, Sam shifts into a bull and pretends to be The God Who Comes. I take it back when I said that destroying the statue being the destruction of Maryann would be the dumbest crap ever. Now it feels like this isn’t completely over because so much attention was paid to that statue. This was a total cop out, and the minute anyone saw that bull they knew it was Sam.
However, Sam wins as best character of the entire series. Instead of Sookie being the most human like she’s intended to be, Sam turns out to be the most human of the characters. He willingly sacrificed himself to Maryann, trusting in Bill’s plan (which I would NEVER do, and I’ll get to why in a minute) to heal him, saves the frakking day in the biggest way ever, and then the next day goes on like all those people in the bar didn’t try and end his life the night before. I’ll admit it; I’d hold that grudge. I don’t care if none of them remembered what happened (which I also thought was another cop out), I would not have been like Sam. His journey to find out who his real parents are is the only interesting thing S3 has going for it.
Hoyt and Jessica. What can I say other than I love where her character is going. She is one of the other reasons S3 could be interesting (none of the interesting points really involve Sookie and Bill). Hoyt, unfortunately, has lost some of his appeal for me. The whole “I hate you, Jessica!” flopping over to “I should have let her finish you off — I love you, Jessica” thing was irksome, and I have a feeling (or at least a hope) that Jessica won’t just roll over and forgive him for basically calling her a monster.
Again, the Queen was horrible and yet had the most interesting dialogue the episode had to offer. According to Sophie-Ann, drinking Sookie’s glowy, magic blood will cause vampires to fall in love with her. I haven’t read the books (because others who read this haven’t either, please don’t post spoilers in the comments if you have), but it seems pretty clear that Sophie-Ann has Bill working for her on Sookie (at least before he drank her blood), from what I gathered these last two eps. This is why I’m suspicious of him and his “feelings” for her. So if he’s been sent to Bon Temps to reel in Sookie, and drinking her blood instantly created romantic feelings for her in him, he obviously doesn’t love her. Eric, on the other hand, hasn’t drunk her blood and wasn’t sent there by the Queen (to get Sookie — only to sell her blood, and that was very interesting as well), so his love for her seems to be the more genuine of the two. Especially after the most badly timed marriage proposal of all time on Bill’s part.
A wedding proposal right after what just went down? Sookie’s house is a super big ass dump (why did they sleep in that house after the day was saved and why was that the only room NOT destroyed?), some pretty heavy business just went down, plus Bill’s rushed proposal made me even more convinced of him working Sook over for Queenie. It felt desperate, not romantic. To be fair, though, I have a skewed sense of “romance,” so take that POV with a grain. Also, Bill getting bagged while Sookie’s having her bipolar episode in the washroom? Obviously a vamp doing the bagging (see the gloves holding the silver chain), but it feels too obvious to say it’s Eric or Pam. Of course, this entire last half of the season was pretty obvious, so it very well could be Eric. My guess is that it’s Lorena or someone working for her because that last scene between her and Bill was just begging for a “I’ll get you, my pretty! And your little dog, too!” to come back around.
As expected, and hoped, Eggs did not make it to the next season. And while I’ll miss those washboard abs, that 24-hour gun show, and those fantastic manboobs, he really needed to die. I don’t even care how that’s going to affect Tara next season because the writers have killed all the love I had for her in the beginning.
In the end, I feel like this cap illustrates how I looked by the time the credits rolled. I think I can best describe the second season as such: It was like I had been a shut in for twenty years. No one ever coming over to my house to visit me. No one ever calling me on the phone. Then the doorbell rang, and I rushed to the front door in a flurry of excitement at the prospect of an actual visitor. I hurriedly swing open the door, all smiles and grins, expecting a person to be there for my greeting. And all I got was a bag of flaming dog crap on my porch. Right next to my four-pack of Tru Blood drink.
I’ll be sticking to the Diet Coke with Liiiiiiiime, too, Andy.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Here is something that put the last nail in the coffin for me. I can’t sleep without the TV on (I’ve got issues) and sometimes I wake up the the weirdest crap. Once int was the Animal Channel and someone talking about mini catfish swimming up a man’s “junk,” — that made for some fun dreams. But this week I woke up to MTV and Lady Gaga (almost as scary as a catfish in your penis) and guess who’s in the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c65-F9MQeyk
Then I found these online while I was googling for the video. The World’s best vampire is Meekus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZRr9Cmt6DQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47Rf7UWqW-c&feature=related
This may be really old news to some. Creeped me out.
As for the episode:
• The whole Maryanne plot started out dark and menacing. Her as a nude lady standing in a road with a pig had to be one of the best images of the show. Maryanne as a vapid bride was a puke-able offense. And if any bull walking down a county road made her think her god had come, I would hate to see her at a rodeo. Sam should have just changed his head — bull head, man body, better scene.
• I look forward to Sam’s journey next year (but still picture him going to a puppy mill).
• Jessica at a truck stop was the type of scene the show should concentrate on.
• I hope Evan Rachel Woods takes some acting lessons before next season. But if she is selling her own blood (via Eric and Layfayette) does that mean she can “feel” all who drink it. She might be making an army.
• Next season: MORE PAM!
• I hope Bill is gone for awhile, and comes back a bit more evil.
• Jason and Andy should live together, as the new Odd Couple. They were funny as shit. Until Jason blew a hole in Egg’s head (you’re right Summer, he had to go, abs and all) and it’s cool how Andy took responsibility. His character has actually grown throughout the year.
• Poor Tara, girl is gonna have far more issues than before. Maybe is she stays home and watches her some Tyra she will get her life back on track.
• I hated the proposal scene. There would be nothing creepier and less romantic than eating in a restaurant with no one else in it. But hey, more room to dance.
At the end of last season I was pissed that it was over and itching for more. This year was like a iffy date — fun enough, but you’re a bit glad it’s over (“I’m sorry, I think I need to sleep alone tonight.” if you know what I mean). And not quite sure there’s a future for the relationship.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
One more thing. Summer, I really wish you were reviewing Supernatural or something. I will miss these chats. Your reviews are the best EVER.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
The season finale was Craptastic!
Not even that mountain of Nordic manflesh saved it for me. Instead this episode just pissed me off more and more as the time went on. It was just nonsense (filler) after nonsense. If this is what were getting then I’m sorry but nonsense does not make me excited for the season 3.
I also got the last minute vibe, they really did a major rush/hurry down job and I think your right about not planning out the ending from the start.
“(none of the INTERESTING points really involve Sookie and Bill)” -funny u said that bc I get the feeling its the Bill & Sookie show and I am no where near captivated or interested or emotionally attach to these two. Its the side characters and there goofy lines that keeps me entertained/coming back.
Some cliffhanger that was….um could they be more obvious?
“I’ll get you, my pretty! And your little dog, too!” -LMAO
“In the end, I feel like this cap illustrates how I looked by the time the credits rolled.” -Me too Summer, me too. *shakes head*
September 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Opps I forgot, why are my manners lol as Wayne said I will miss these chats.
Your reviews are the best EVER!!!!
September 18th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
oh man summer, i totes agree with you about the rushed job ending. it was so bizarre how many quick turnarounds multiple characters made.
i was trying to follow and understand the whole maryann/sam connection, and i was buying into it a little bit when the queen was explaining it to bill, but ultimately it just feel flat and i feel like no genuine explanation or wrap-up was provided.
i was so annoyed to see jason stackhouse go down like a pansy at the “wedding.” i wanted him to rush in guns blazing and be the hero of the whole shebang. well, not the ultimate hero – but i was at least hoping he’d accidentally stumble into greatness as per usual.
i really like your theory about bill working for the queen. i really have started to pick up on a creepy disingenuous vibe, especially during the proposal scene.
i agree that a couple reasons to stick around for season 3 include jessica’s development (that trucker feeding scene was obscenely hot in a weird creepster way!!) and sam’s quest for his parents.
September 18th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Your review was better then actually watching the episode.
Thank you.
I’ll write more later but right now I’m crying in my beer just remembering how god awful the finale was.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
This is a fantastic review. And you made the scene with the queen more meaningful. It did not occur to me that Eric’s feelings should be more genuine because he has not had Sookie’s blood yet. Oh and yes, that proposal was horribly timed! Right after all that went down with Maryann, I think it was just the previous night – that was just plain tacky.It was as if Bill wanted to seal the deal with Sookie because Eric is onto him about the real reason why Bill was in Bon Temps.
September 19th, 2009 at 12:10 am
You lie so bad, there has been no mention of bill working for the queen, if he was working for her and she found out he was drinking her blood, she would would have told him to bring her there now…she didn’t even talk about an assignment…..and according to Allan Ball sai Bill and Sookie have an authentic love.
September 19th, 2009 at 1:43 am
rc: the Queen told Bill he would know if Sookie were in trouble, that would only happen if Sookie had ingested Bill’s blood. Clearly she knew Bill had given Sookie some of his blood. Later, Bill admits to only feeding from Sookie therefore everyone(including the Queen) knows that Bill and Sookie have shared blood.
And furthermore, this review is about what happens on the show, not what Alan Ball says in his interviews.
September 19th, 2009 at 1:52 am
rc: Where did I say it was *fact* that Bill was working for the Queen? I said, “I haven’t read the books [...] but it seems pretty clear that Sophie-Ann has Bill working for her on Sookie [...] from what I gathered these last two eps.” How can I “lie so bad” if I’m stating my opinion on what’s possibly going on between Bill and Sophie-Ann? Also, I’m sorry that I don’t read all the interviews everyone involved in the series does because I had no idea that Allan Ball has stated Bill and Sookie have an “authentic love”. Again, and I’m not sure why I have to even say this, these reviews are only MY opinion – NOT show canon. If you would like me to go into more detail on why I think Sophie-Ann sent Bill to Bon Temps, I’d be more than happy to here in the comments.
Everyone else: Thanks so much for making my first season of reviews here at Fandomania awesome! If any of you are watching Fringe, Lost, and a few other shows this fall, I’ll be doing reviews of them in the coming weeks (Wayne, speaking of Supernatural -and Holy Flaming Fires of Hell is THAT getting crazy – there is another writer here covering the show if you want to check out her reviews). Everyone else, I’ll see you next season because I’m not *not* going to find out what’s up with Sam and Jessica. Seriously. I’m all talk and will totally cave when the new eps start airing. :)
September 20th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Oh I’m still a lil upset what this show has been doing recently. It’s now old news, but they killed off Godric? That was really upsetting. I think he was such a great character! I even drew a portrait of him. SO Eric can fly? I think that’s really cool. But why can’t Bill fly? Why does Eric get to do all the cool stuff? Also I heard gossip that Sookie is going to have Bill’s baby? It’s starting to sound like a soap opera with a vampire twist! I tell ya, if Bill has a twin brother and he kidnaps Bill and then starts dating Sookie, I’m so out of here!
September 21st, 2009 at 7:44 pm
I was also upset that they killed off Godric. I think it was too soon. BTW, Sookie is SO not having Bill’s baby.
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Christine: I was wondering why Bill can’t fly, too. I mean, I do prefer Eric over Bill, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to see Bill not be so wet blanket anymore. Maybe he has some hidden vamp talents that will come out later?
If Sookie did have Bill’s baby, I think I’d have to turn in my fangs and never watch another vampire movie/show again. That would just kill the entire genre for me.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:30 pm
[...] we’ll get throughout this season. If the producers aren’t careful, they’ll have a True Blood second season finale situation on their hands. And nobody wants that. They better be at the top of [...]
August 21st, 2010 at 7:50 am
Vampires gain more powers as they get older, like flying. That’s why Bill can’t, but Eric can.