5 Movies That Should Never, Ever Be Remade

taxidriver

Rumors are flying at the Berlin Film Festival that Martin Scorsese will remake Taxi Driver. What? I cannot believe that’s true because when something’s perfect, it doesn’t need to be done over. This rumor (please God, let it be just that) gives rise to speculation about other remakes that should never be made, especially knowing Hollywood’s penchant for casting whoever’s trendy at the moment. Here are my five nominees for great films which should never be remade:

5. Citizen Kane

Why not cast the most popular actor in the world as Charles Kane: Will Smith? And instead of a sled that says “Rosebud,” he could have a lightsaber with “Who Dat” engraved on it.

4. The Wizard of Oz

Only one choice to play Dorothy: Tina Fey. In the world of show business, any actress as popular and talented as she is can play anybody, so she may as well also be cast as the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Wizard himself.

3. Chinatown

Stephen Colbert as Jake Gittes, Ellen DeGeneres as Evelyn Mulwray, and Adam Sandler as Noah Cross. I’d like to see Stephen Colbert try to smack Ellen DeGeneres across the face while she screams, “She’s my daughter! She’s my sister! She’s my daughter! She’s my sister!”

2. Gone With The Wind

Amy Poehler as Scarlett O’Hara, Jon Stewart as Rhett Butler, Barack Obama as Ashley Wilkes, and Sarah Silverman as Melanie. I can just see Amy pining for Barack, while Jon Stewart suffers in unrequited love. I doubt if this version would end with “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” the shocker line of the ’30s, but would probably find room for the F word.

1. The Godfather

Andy Samberg as Don Vito Corleone, Martin Short as Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, Ben Stiller as Sonny Corleone, and Owen Wilson as Fredo Corleone, with Jon Lovitz as Tom Hagen. Sarah Palin might be good as Michael’s long-suffering wife, Kay Adams Corleone, if she were offered enough teabags to play the role.

Should this crazy rumor turn out to be true, who could play Travis Bickle? Even more important question is: Who could play Travis Bickle better than Robert DeNiro did?

This entry was posted on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 5:30 pm and is filed under Lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

20 Responses to “5 Movies That Should Never, Ever Be Remade”

Tak Kovacs Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Did you miss The Wiz (1978)? No matter really, it strengthens your choice.
Spacely Sprocketfied Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Why are most of the actors you want in these serious movies from SNL?
0BS0L33T Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
@Spacely Sprocketfied

Because it’s a joke. These movies shouldn’t be remade in the first place
Josh Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
In all honesty all these movies should be remade and probably could be remade better.
One movie I’d love to see remade is the The Stand, the first one sucked and it could be done sooo much better now days especially with the ‘end of the world’ coming.
somebody Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Travis Barker already has the hair cut for it.
http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Entertainment/Images/travis-barker-is-dead.jpg
Sean Scott Maguire Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Actually, I like your idea for the Godfather remake. But only if they do it as a musical.
Matt Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
In all honesty the wizard of oz could and should be remade.
Summer Suzuki Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 7:27 pm
Me personally, I don’t understand why these five shouldn’t ever be remade. With the exception of “The Godfather” and “Chinatown” (because I’ve never seen it), all of these movies aren’t that great. It could just be my deep rooted hate for “Oz” (I was forced as a child to watch it over and over again with a cousin because for some unknown reason she couldn’t watch it ad nauseum by herself) or the fact that I always found “Gone with the Wind” offensive and unrelatable and “Citizen Kane” supremely boring.

I’m just not that intellectual when it comes to my forms of entertainment; however, I have to admit I don’t see the harm in remaking a movie. If it’s a good remake, it brings something new to the original. If it’s a bad remake, it brings new viewers to the original. In either case, a remake does not deminish the value of the original and it will always be there. It’s not like the “Highlander” where there can be only one version.
Philippine Properties Owner Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
I wouldn’t mind if the wizard of oz get’s remade. Maybe i might even enjoy it more given the technology we have today that we can use in making a remake for this film.
Kimme Utsi Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Life of Brian, or wait maybe that movie would have suited perfectly for todays religion quarrel.
Which movies should never be remade? | Wet Girlz Blog Says:
February 16th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
[...] clarkpike on Feb.16, 2010, under Amateur, Entertainment Fandomania just published an article (see below) about movies that are so ingrained in the culture of the time [...]
IF2050 Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 3:24 am
Wizard of Oz just had a very loose reboot made recently that was aired on SyFy (Sci-Fi still at the time) Called Tin Man. A Mini-Series, not a movie but still. 6 Hours long.
Sean Scott Maguire Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 10:01 am
I like the irony in Summer’s commment about how with Highlander “there can be only one” version.

BTW, if Adrien Brody (from the Pianist)can get out of his contract to play Arnold’s role in that Predator remake they’re doing, maybe he can play Robert De Niro’s part in that Taxi Driver remake.
5 Films That Never, Ever Should Have Been Remade | Richard's Corner Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 10:17 am
[...] just read Maggie Van Ostrand’s at article at fandomania entitled “5 Movies That Should Never, Ever Be Remade“, and it really got my blood boiling. Not because I disagree with her, but because I agree [...]
Robert Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 11:10 am
Why was the passion not included? Or should it be on a list of movie/play that should never have been made.
Matt Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 11:18 am
“…Martin Short as Al Pacino as Michael Corleone…” It would be worth it just to see that
rose the rad sugar Says:
February 17th, 2010 at 11:27 am
@summer, literal LOL at your “Highlander” joke.

i hated Oz when I was a kid, i hate it now, and i’ll hate it forever. that is why a remake never ever needs to happen- just let it go away. please.

@maggie, i totally agree about GWTW and Godfather, both just need to be left alone and allowed to stand as original classics forever.
Summer Suzuki Says:
February 18th, 2010 at 11:41 am
@sean/rose - thanks. I try sometimes, even though it’s really hard for me.
chip Says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Quentin Tarantino should remake Wizard of Oz. I’d love to see his take on the story… “You’re not in Kansas anymore M******F*****!!!!”
Omar Vanweelden Says:
March 20th, 2010 at 10:02 am
lol, Ellen is so wild! I love her.